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Boutaa3bizzz
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:18 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:18 (2010)    Sujet du message: Publicité

PublicitéSupprimer les publicités ?
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:18 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:20 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
If you teach a man to fish, he can always eat.
If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
If you light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:20 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week.
B: That's impossible. Whose baby?
A: An elephant's.
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:21 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
mdr
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:22 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:23 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:24 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.

One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"

Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."

A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"

With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."

The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"

Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:26 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:27 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
Rolling Eyes
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 09:32 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

mdr Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
               A: No idea.(No-eye deer)
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MessagePosté le: Lun 12 Juil - 21:01 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

well titi applaudir bravo, the best one i like the one : a guy say to his friend '' guess how many coins i have in my pocket. mdr
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MessagePosté le: Mar 13 Juil - 10:33 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

Okay  to the next
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MessagePosté le: Jeu 15 Juil - 09:38 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

"- I hate this cheese with the holes in it.
- Then eat around them."
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MessagePosté le: Jeu 15 Juil - 09:38 (2010)    Sujet du message: Boutaa3bizzz Répondre en citant

"- I'm so broke, if a robber was to rob me, all he'd get would be practice."
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